The finger experience....

Chilly night in San Jose ..
When everyone else was busy with finding cheapest things to buy inside the mall..
he held my hand quietly. I don't know was it because of him or the chilly breeze but i started shivering.
I could feel my heartbeat in my finger he was holding.
He offered me a sweater to wear without leaving my hand.
Looked me in the eye n said .."How did this happen?"
I was too deeply involved looking him to notice his question.
He asked again ..
n i whispered "I sat on my hand " ...
he started laughing , n called his fellows to get me medical help ..
I regained my senses ..
he was laughing at my foolishness ,and i knew soon my friends would do that too.

I was embarrassed ,i was standing  but at the same time the pain was unbearable.
in one night , i had fun  waiting up in the line for Black Friday sale , i had a moment of joy when got unexpected discount on my clothes, a moment when i was hell tired and wanted to sit somewhere,
a moment of surging pain , a moment with a handsome police and firemen taking care of me...

and rest of the night where my friends were teasing me about how i sat on my own finger..
and the receipt of a policemen showing i was drug addict and has a severe head injury...
i was annoyed but then realized ,i have such good friends ,taking so much efforts to divert me from the pain..

what a night it was !!!!

p.s : there was a wooden plank which i tried to sit on and accidentally put my hand in between the floor and the plank

pournima

Hope..

Just when you start feeling you are alone in the world, fight with the tears that come along ,console yourself that there is a way out of this darkness..
someone unknowingly lightened up the lantern u needed.
A small kindle of hope that you still can survive..
You feel so grateful ,wish you could let the person know what he did for you.
But you can not , being afraid of letting the person know the darkened side of yours..
So this was the best way i could find..

I was feeling blue ..badly missing the Diwali days being with my family..
Instead i delighted in card games and relishing the brownie-ice-cream combo ,fighting over it ;-)
If you are reading this .. Thank you so much..
They are the stupidest but adorable people in my life ..
thanks for reminding me that i am not alone and never will be ... :-)

pournima

memories..

कुठे हरवलाय तो ओलावा ..

ती ओढ ..ती काळजी ..आपलेपणा , 

एकमेकांसोबत कितीही भांडलो तरी बाहेरच्या जगाला एक म्हणून सामोर जायचं 

मस्ती आणि दंगा याहीपलीकडे जाऊन होणार हितगुज .

डोक्यावरच्या ओझ्याचं पोत रिकाम कराव आणि हलक्या मनाने  पिसागत उडाव ..

२४ सोबतही जेंव्हा कमी वाटायची ..सकाळ एकमेकांना  आणि रात्रही एकमेकांची उडवत व्हयाची.

बाहेर च्या जगात सिंहाची  मांजर व्हावी ..

टपल्या काय लाथा काय ...गुदगल्या काय किंवा गालगुच्चे काय सगळाच बालिश ..

चिडण चिडवण हा तर रोजचाच उद्योग .. 

कुणी हिरमुसल कि एक smile ..कुणी रडल कि एक hug ..किती समाधान वाटायचं.

छोट्या छोट्या गोष्टींच celebration ..

किती गुरफटलो न एकमेकांत कि बाहेरच जग क्षुल्लक वाटाव ..

पण सगळाच बदलल..

भेट नाही साध बोलणही  नाही ,, त्या विश्वात दुसर्यांना जागाच नाही ..

एकमेकांच्या इतक्या spacial moments साठी कुणाला वेळ नाही , कदाचित तो काढायची इच्छा पण..

"तुम्ही अस करणार?"

आता पुन्हा तशी मैत्री नाही मिळणार मला..

मनात येईल ते बोलेन पण वाईट न वाटून घेणारे लोकच नाही..

मनसोक्त रडायला इथे कुणाचा  खांदाच  मिळत नाही..

मनापासून कौतुक करणार , नाही आवडलं तर तोंडावर सांगणाराही कुणी नाही..

सगळाच वरवरच ...हताश होते मी कधी कधी ..

पण लक्षात येत त्यांच्याही आयुष्यात कुणी तुम्च्यासारख  असणारच न ..

ते लोकही तो ओलावा टिकवायचा प्रयत्न करत असणार ...

पुण्यात येण्याच्या निर्णयाने मला जे  दिलय मला ते आयुष्यभर तसाच ठेवायचं....

मला थोडीशी मदत कराल?

pournima