I am fed up of being emotional...
Caring for every little thing people expect from me..
being jealous, trying to fit in, controlling the rage and irritation , missing out things, regretting to leave everything in India coming to US,
knowing that everyone else is sad of me being far away ,having fun is a crime..
What exactly is my fault?
i was happy with my life ..no big dreams no exceeding expectations..with a bunch of friends who really cared . I never had to try to be with someone so bad.
Being away from home for 6 years was definitely my decision ..but now i want to be at home.
I don't see its happening till next 3-4 years.
Moreover , i have to be perfect human being.. no affair.. no drinks .. not close friendship with guys.
I have to be a perfect student n get good grades.
So that i can be the perfect marriage material ..
n people say it is easy being a girl ,...you have no idea !!
Its just the family matters..
what about the things you manage after crossing 7 seas,,,
first the time difference ..there is no good time to talk.
Second money matters.. its almost killing me that i don't have money to pay the rent
everything is so expensive. Being jealous that your roommates can afford the stuff you can not even dream of.. third tough competition for exams and jobs.. relative grading.. for once in my life i am trying to do better and i failed in every aspect.and so on..
I know i want to have fun because these days would never come back.
But being emotional is not getting me through this situation...
May be some logic will help me ;-) ...
Caring for every little thing people expect from me..
being jealous, trying to fit in, controlling the rage and irritation , missing out things, regretting to leave everything in India coming to US,
knowing that everyone else is sad of me being far away ,having fun is a crime..
What exactly is my fault?
i was happy with my life ..no big dreams no exceeding expectations..with a bunch of friends who really cared . I never had to try to be with someone so bad.
Being away from home for 6 years was definitely my decision ..but now i want to be at home.
I don't see its happening till next 3-4 years.
Moreover , i have to be perfect human being.. no affair.. no drinks .. not close friendship with guys.
I have to be a perfect student n get good grades.
So that i can be the perfect marriage material ..
n people say it is easy being a girl ,...you have no idea !!
Its just the family matters..
what about the things you manage after crossing 7 seas,,,
first the time difference ..there is no good time to talk.
Second money matters.. its almost killing me that i don't have money to pay the rent
everything is so expensive. Being jealous that your roommates can afford the stuff you can not even dream of.. third tough competition for exams and jobs.. relative grading.. for once in my life i am trying to do better and i failed in every aspect.and so on..
I know i want to have fun because these days would never come back.
But being emotional is not getting me through this situation...
May be some logic will help me ;-) ...
pournima
